Donnerstag, April 26, 2018

The Story of my Panties

I have an overflowing drawer full of them! but..and now it gets difficult, I have "everyday ones" most of them I hate, some slide, some pinch , some have worn spots,where everytime I pick one of those the decision is hard if to keep it or throw it away (remember, I am a "child of war") .
Now we come to the "good" ones....they fit perfectly, look nice and therefore are kept in the drawer. What for? I keep asking myself. Obviously  for the time I take a trip amd my plane crashes and when they find my popped open luggage ,they will say ...look she has such nice panties! 
So now I have to go shopping, time to pick up a new pair of panties! 
Don't call me a weirdo!!!!

Freitag, November 03, 2017

A Story about Suits

äNovember 3/17

My friend Arthur came about with the craziest story today. He bought 7 suits in New York when he had been visiting for a wedding! ..and yes,actually 8, because also one for the wedding. And he never wore them up to now! He claims it was not his fault buying them but the fault of the salesman. That guy must have had a lottery day! 
Now this reminded me of another suit story which happened  or rather was delivered by Fred, my late husband.
During a business trip to Paris in the taxi from the airport he heared (at that time his hearing was still good) a ripping sound. The taxi had not been the newest one so he thought the material of the seat had ripped. When he got out of the taxi at his destination, the taxi driver had a laughing fit. Fred's pant had ripped from the waist to the bottom. The business appointment had been close , the taxi driver  a kind of a comedian, told him his wife could fix it,so Fred said lets see your wife then! Answer..she is vaccationing at the seaside!  - To make a long story short he then took Fred to a department store where he had not such an easy time finding a fitting suit in a jiffy. He of course was the laugh of the meeting when he told the story and coming home at night I then asked him at the airport...but where is your new suit?  I am wearing it of course,he answered. Now I was flabbergasted..and why, for heaven's sake did you buy exactly the same suit?
So next day it happened that his brother from Paris was on business in Düsseldorf and dropped in at our place at nite. So of course Fred told his suit story and brother wanted to see it. Fred went to put on the jacket and brother claimed that it really was a bit tight and let me look at the label. so Fred opened the jacket and it had been the old one from the ripped pants suit. So even he could not keep them apart. Since I had been laughing about the suit story all day already I broke out into such a burst of laughter that I peed my pants.
So thank you Arthur, you gave me that memory on top of the laugh I had about your story!

Sonntag, Oktober 08, 2017

Beware of Ants in Colorado....

my second short again, any similarity with living persons  is pure coincidence, well the ants heave been somewhat real at some time of my former live! ;)))

October 8/2017

I had been one of our memorable trips to The United States, at a time when it still had been an easygoing friendly country, not destroyed by the paranoia of a bad leader .
We above all had lost our heart to the westcoast ,the change between  rough wilderness and bright lively cities held a continious fascination for us  
When we hit Colorado we decided to stop over at some quite secluded horse ranch. 
Did I mention that I am a junky for horsebackriding?  I have my own horse at home but that I ride "english style" , western  riding always bore a fascination for me and I did some of it in New Mexico with my friend Sid. He even let me ride his own horse , man..was I tickled pink. 

The guest ranch of course did have horses and so I booked a ride for the next morning.  
But  let me tell you a bit about the ranch, it had several log cabins, scattered about amon trees and a little brook was running through the area. Very cozy and secluded, you expected to be greated by a bear on your porch and as a matter of fact there were warning signs all over the place. So after a hearty meal at the fire place in the guestroom we soaked in our hot tub which was attached to our cabin. The little room had a sliding roof and we sat in the hot water, gazing at that tremendious sky full of sparkling stars which only can be found far away from civilization. 
So next morning we went to the stables, I had packed my chaps and to get cowboy boots of course had been a must right after our arrival in the States. It had been so far from the main lodge that Frank had to take me there by car. 
When they came up with my horse my jaw dropped , it  had been the bigest western horse I had seen in my life. "What's its name?" I asked . "Tank" was the answer. I burst out laughing...."now Tank, I hope we are going to be friends! " . Amazingly Tank had a very soft gait and was easy to sit. The group consisted mainly of ranch girls and the only other guest had been a little girl about 10 years old. So we two "outsiders" got to talking. Her name was Ashley and she told me that they were spending a weekend at the ranch. Here parents were divorced and she had arrived with her daddy's new woman friend and daddy, whom she kept raving about. Poor woman, I thought, she has bad cards with little Ashley.
The ride had been quite pleasant and the landscape had been out of this world, rough and lovely at the same time .
When we arrived back, Frank and another guy awaited us. "There is daddy" Ashley cried excitedly, " you will have to meet him, pleease...".
, Since we always love to meet new people when we travel, it gives the additional pleasure to get to know the country,  we introduced  ourselves and that' s what I really like about Americans, they are so much more easygoing than us stiff Europeans! 
"I am Jack " he said and he had that twinkle in his eyes which made him appeal to me right away. He was a bit on the sturdy side, with brown curly hair an a short cropped beard, wich I like with men. 
Frank had tried to grow one, but it never came out right somehow. 
So we got chatting for a bit and he told us that back at the lodge we would have to meet his woman and maybe should we have dinner tonite together. Of course we willingly agreed .
It had been a very pleasant meal together with some good Californian wine and Norma ,his friend,seemed a nice woman. Jack worked for a newspaper and wrote short stories on the side."Not very successful" he pulled a sad face.
 We had a lot of laughs , little Ashley of course,tried to play the first fiddle, but she was so cute, you could not be mad at her. 

"What about a hike into the mountains tomorrow" Jack asked. I looked at him and thought that the name really fit him and he looked at me with that twinkle in his eyes as if he had read my thoughts. "woman, stop flirting" I told myself, "nothing good comes out of that!"

"Hiking" Frank moaned, you know I am rather the boating freak (we had been taking some sailing cruises during former holidays together)  and Ashley started whining that she wanted to go horseback riding again. "I will take her" Norma said, you two go on your hike. 
"You see" I thought to myself a bit nastily "that you get attaching yourself to a darling daddy!"
So Jack and I agreed to meet the next morning after breakfast for our hike.
Again it had been another beautiful day, warm sunshine, the sky so blue, just scattered with a few cumulus clouds. 
Since Jack was an experienced hicker, he consulted hicking maps and worked out a trip which greenhorn  me could also take.
We sat off and I must admit  that I found it quite exhausting.  And all that time we did not meet another soul. As we arrived at a breathtaking overlook , Jack, eying me grinning, asked if I would like to take a rest. 
Only too willingly I agreed. So we sat down and Jack passed me a bottle of water which he had taken along. I took a sip. "Champagne would be better to honour the occasion" I sighed. " I could not agree more" he answered and then we looked at each other, fell into each others arms, tore off each others clothes and rolled in the soft moss. But then I started to scream..."what is it , darling ,what is it" he uttered under heavy breaths. 
"Ants!!!" I kept screaming, "I am full of ants..and they bit me"  By that time they had also reached him and we both jumped around brushing and shaking them off.
So we had put oursevel into the migrating path of big red ants! Somewhat sheepishly we dressed, and then we broke out into a hilarious laughter! 
Now, do not go and confess, I told him. "Well ,he said, nothing much happened!" ...." If you call nothing happened being full of ant bites on your most private parts..and mind you, I am so much more open than you! " So we started screaming, this time with laughter, again.

"The turn of the srew" he sighed, "ants killed our romance"!  - " Only a writer could think of Henry James at a moment like that" I teased.

It had to be good bye later on that day, every one going their own way. - We exchanged addresses and promised to keep in touch,which one then never does.
During our trip, thinking of those effn ants, I had to giggle and Frank, knowing me quite well, eyed me sidewise and asked"have you been into mischief? - oh,nothing to worry about" I grinned.

Dienstag, Oktober 03, 2017

Lets meet in Quebec friends, this is a short story born out of the ennui of a drab autum day...any similarity with living persons is pure coinidence!
I dedicate this story to my role model Arthur whom I love (but am not in love with) :)

She looked out of the window and sighed. Just another of those dreary autumn days where the golden and auburn leaves got painted over by the grey of the morning fog. The house seemed so very empty after a night where those strange  noises which never seemed to be heared during the daytime still made her think that somebody was creeping around in the dark.
 Come on girl, she said to herself, get going but that second voice in her head promptly answered..Rom has not been build in a day!   Stupid, this habit she had developped to talk to herself. Well, as long I do not start it in public..she giggled!
Her husband had died, just about a year ago, they had been married for only about 5 years, a happy time full of laughter and activity and then this stupid speed driver hit his car on the freeway and there she was, a widow at the age of 32 . They always had  talked about having kids one day and she pondered if that would console her ,but it is not so easy to imagine something you do not have.  In a way she was glad, having a small kid growing up without a father would be quite a task. 
But now she would go and see after her horse, horsebackriding always had been her childhooddream which she then could realize as a teenie. For her first wedding anniversary Oliver gave her her own horse.  She had been crying with joy, - darling, you do not know what you have gotten yourself  into - she laughed with tears in her eyes - well, as long as I come first, he grinned. 

So now, fog or no damn fog, she would venture out into the open. She considered taking the dog but decided against it . The oldie might get lost in the fog. The dog had been her contribution to their marriage and it took some time before it accepted its new master. Two men being jealous of each other, she used to joke. 

I will be back, be a good dog ,she said. Shayly looked at her, his head tilted. yes,yes, I will take you out later on, that's a promise!
As always, strolling the countryside with the horse gave her a soothing peace of mind, besides it also demanded enough attention because Little Lander was kind of a yellowbelly.
When she came home, she took the dog for the promised walk. In the meantime the fog had lifted and the sun had come out, They went down to the riverside, just about a 5 minutes walk away and she sat on a rock, watching the lazy waves glitter in the sun. A flock of wild geese approached and settled itself screeching upon the surface of the water. Such a nice sight, the pleasures of fall, she thought, the river hat another face at each season of the year.

When she came home, the daily paper was in front of her door. Well, lets see, what happened in this not ever so pleasant world today..she also had a computer which she looked into every day, facebook  was a must.... but not so much for the politics, this coverage often had been so vile and depressing, she preferred the oldfashioned paper to read about those issues , although it seemed to her almost like  news from yesterday. 
Most anyway she liked the travel section, reading those reports and dreaming about foreign countries she just loved. With Oliver she had taken some very nice, interesting vacation trips all over the world..well almost.. and travelling, she thought, always made you live in another world. Her husband always had wanted to take a cruise, but she  said that this was not her piece of pie, mind you , sweetie, imagine..just old people! But now she ran across a report about an Caribbean cruise, somehow it sounded quite interesting, she had seen some good reports about the region on television and now it somehow intrigued her.
Xmas will be coming up- horror - so I might as well pamper myself, she thought, I will gift myself with a Caribbean cruise in spring!

A dreary winter went, spring came and that cruise was still on her mind.  Come on girl, you have to learn to travel by yourself, or do you want to be stuck in your house like an old hag with dog and horse, which is about the only reason to put your nose out? ok, ok, the second voice said..old hags have cats on their shoulders (vile laughter)..oh shut up, I might end like this, something has to be done! Jump into cold water, do it!
So she booked  that cruise and from then on had this queasy stomach feeling. Of course she bragged about her venture on Facebook, some of her friends admired her, some were doubtful if this really was a good idea, but one of her friends, living on one of the Caribbean islands suggested they meet, should her ship dock at his island. She thought that this was a fabulous idea..and the ship really had the island on its agenda! So at least I have someone who can show me some of the things the normal tourists do not get to see, she hoped.
So the time came and she flew into Fort Lauderdale and stayed the night at a hotel at the beachside, very nice and all arranged for by the "package deal". Boarding the ship went smoothly too. She had treated herself to a nice balcony cabin...might as well, last shirt has no pockets No. 2 voice whispered.
Leaving the port had been quite spectacular, the skyline so beautiful  and the sea! blue.
Took her some time to get her bearings around the ship, after twice a grinning steward took her out of the wrong aisle to her cabin she got the hang of it.  Having breakfast outside in the heck section of the ship she liked best, breakfast is her favoured meal anyway she used to tell everyone.
So time went really fast aboard and with land excursions on the islands, and then the island to meet the friend approached. She was quite excited, meeting someone in person is still a big deal different from having a superficial correspondence!
Unfortunately the ship could not be boarded by non passengers, so they had agreed to meet outside of the security gate. Hope I recognize him she worried, imagine, if we miss each other just on accout of that!
But there was this tall, attractive guy waving at her and giving her a hug..and from then on it was easy, as if they had known each other for years. He drove a big pick-up truck, and she told him that she simply was in love with those trucks, a cowboy friend whom she had met in New Mexico drove one.  So you love cowboys? he laughed. Well, she said, if you love horses you simply have to love cowboys! Now, a horse I can not offer around here, he said, but we have our assets.
She eyed him sidewise, was he ever beautiful! I will call him my black prince, she thought to herself and the thought made her blush.
The drive around the island had been breathtaking, they had lunch at the top of a mountain place, overlooking the lush landscape and the glittering sea..and they talked and talked and talked and it seemed as if they had known each other for ages.
Then it was time to drive back to the ship. I do not want to leave, she said. Then stay, he said, stay with me! What a crazy idea, she answered .. went aboard the ship, got her bags and checked out!.
So they had a wonderful time together, he showed her his way of life and she learned to appreciate the cheerfulness and friendliness of the people.
But every love-ly story has to come to an end, so they arranged for her to leave for home. Hey sweetie, she grinned, a very expensive trip, but worth every penny. They parted and both of them made jokes not to start crying. That she did on the plane and her seat neighbor offered her a hanky, felling sorry for that bundle of grief next to him.
Of course, once back home they kept in touch , which of course is not the same as being together. He kept begging her to come back, but in the meantime an awful president had taken over the country and she said that they would never let her into the country on accout of her bashing the horrorman on fb. Then all my money for the flight would have been thrown out of the window, she told him,

When she opened the mailbox the next morning he had sent her a held only one sentence..


Sonntag, Juli 16, 2017

Visiting the Tree

July 16/17

Daughter no.2 and mum decided to pay a visit to "our" tree, hubby's and mine in the burial forrest ,located in the Ardennes. The german part is called the "Eifel" and it is an impressive landscape,a bit rough but there you still can feel the unspoiled beauty of nature.-
It had been hubbby's birthday and the first time we came back after the burial of the urn in March.
Fortunarely we have keys for the barriers, otherwise it is quite a walk from the parking lot. We had a plan but still...finding our tree among a million others, quite a task! But we made it , only had to back up the car once! 
It had been a beautiful day, the sun shining through the treetops, making everything look so friendly! There are no flowers or other memorials allowed at the trees, it is pure unkept nature and should stay that way . We brought a bottle of champagne and toasted Fred for his birthday..wherever  he is now...and the tree got a glass too!  Ask me if I could feel Fred's presence......I still try to figure that out. 
So we said goodbye till next time and it does not bother me that one day it will be my visit for keeps.that is the way of life and the end of it.

Montag, Mai 01, 2017

Maypole missing...

May 1/2017

In our region it is customary to give a decorated little..or big,whatever birchtree  ...a so called the lady of your heart. you put it up secretely the night before the first of May in front of the house or on the roof, quite a venture!  Young men used to steal them in former times in the woods, nowadays with rules and regulations you get fined and instead there is a thriving business of markets,like for xmas trees which sell them. Of course you can also give a tree to someone you secretely carry a torch for. 😘.
So involuntary single Landfrau peeked out into her entrance way this tree! ..but one of my crockery hanging
flowerpots had crashed to the floor, probably the strong wind from yesterday.. .and IT HAD NOT BEEN BROKEN!  - which was even better than a Maibaum...considering my age! 😂😂😂

Mittwoch, März 22, 2017

Left me speechless

March 21/2017

My windowcleaner, who comes to my house once a month, had been very shocked a month ago when he found out that my husband had died. He even had a drink in his memory.
So, this month, he came to my house and entering he asked "where is your husband" ? I really had been speechless, which happens very rarely. But then  I had been quite pissed off and asked him how many drinks he had already had.  He is an alcoholic in my opinion and his brain must be quite damaged in a way. He of course had been very embarrassed and told me a weird story of the lady where he had cleaned before and who had "mixed him up". I was short of firing him but then I calmed down. At least I can trust him around the house, which with new ,strange folks you never know.