Montag, Mai 24, 2010


May 24/10 ....11:34 a.m.

Do not get me wrong, Landfrau loves visitors but I simply, totally hate dropinners. - There I am, still in my bathrobe, my hair hasn't seen a comb yet and my eyes no makeup (makes me feel I look like an albino, and who wants to look like an albino,I guess not even an albino) and the doorbell rings, and there they are, the dropinners. Oh, sorry, you are not dressed yet? Oh, no, we do not want to come in (tranferring, we have been on our bikes for about 20 kms and at least you could offer us a drink of water) and you mumble that you have been up for hours, just did not have the time inbetween feeding the dog, preparing breakfast, setting up the outside areas with sunumbrellas,tablecloths,cushions etc to look yet after yourself, but com in, - Oh, no, we do not want to bother you - no, you do not bother me (FATHEADS, you do!) and then they sit there and sit there, sure, they are dressed and have all the time in the world. - Or, it is my housecleaning day and I look like right out of the slums, with my old sorted out t-shirt and slacks, all the furniture is upside down, the carpets are turned over and you fall over the vacuum cleaner and the doorbell rings and there...see above.

So, friends, in our times there are phones, there are cell phones -use them! You are always welcome in my home but give me notice before you DROP IN on me and a chance to say "no" if it is really not convenient from my side. - This way we always will be friends!

Mittwoch, Mai 19, 2010

The Windmaker

May 19/10.....3:16 p.m.

Usually there are rainmakers, me , I am special, I am a windmaker. You can have a day, not a breeze around, as soon as I decide to clean our driveway, starts. And not only a little bit of wind, no - real whirlwinds, which take my heaps of dried leaves, and we have plenty, I only say - ivy ! - apart before I can bend down to sweep them up. So, if you are in need, like you own a windmill or so,call me, I come with my broom ,shovel and basket and the wind will start out of nowhere. - Besides the driveway slavery I had hoped it would rain, because then I could have skipped mowing the lawn. Tough luck, blue sky, sunshine and that nasty wind of course, which does not bother me mowing. So there I was, in the chaingang and besides from cleaning Herrn Hund's puked up basket, fixing lunch, walking the dog all what now is left to do is changing the bedclothes. Well, as we say in Germany: wer rastet, rostet (he who rests, rusts) - Landfrau is a rustfree species, or maybe I am like rust, always active.

Samstag, Mai 15, 2010

Gnome in the House

Mai 15/10

I have that gnome in the house, who keeps himself busy during the night to tighten my garments and lately he must have had his cotton pickin' fingers busied with my favorite jeans. Somehow they are not so comfortable around the waistline anymore. So I decided for a trip downtown, only I forgot, that Thursday, having been a holiday, the whole of Nordrhein Westfalen, not travelling, decided to go shopping/windowshopping in the city. Finding a parking lot - even in a parking garage - was like winning in a lottery. Same in the department store, finding an empty booth. Well, I had been lucky with both and for about 2 hours "enjoyed "myself wriggling into and out of clothes. And the gnome must have been busy in the department store too, tightening all the clothes of my size, so I had to get the size above. Really thrilling! Landfrau now keeps her fingers crossed that one day she does not have to limit herself to stores called BIG & THIRSTY. Then I will murder the gnome.