Dienstag, August 23, 2011

My Passport Story

August 23/11.....3:26 p.m.

Today the ghost of just deceased Loriot ,the great comedian, must have hovered over the first half of my day. You would say, that achieving a new passport is not such a big deal, well... let me tell you this -
I left the house pretty early , dealing with ministerial hierarchy you have to count on strict office hours and I wanted to have some leeway, just in case. Smart choice!  Took my old passport, a foto, which I had left over from the time I had to renew my ID card and enough money. Well equipped, one would think. The office for this kind of burocracy had moved since I had been there the last time and the somehow evasive directions given by Herr Husband took me on a little sightseeing trip with not a soul on the road to ask.  O.K.  I made it and the first question, the lady behind the desk asked me was  if I really wanted a passport, because, as she explained, moving around Europe an ID card is sufficient. Probably she did not trust me to be able to venture out of Europe. I had been a good girl and kept my mouth shut.  Next, I handed  her my foto and she almost fainted with shock "oh no, it has to be a biometric one" which means that you are not allowed to smile but produce a grim look, which one has travelling nowadays anyway, with all the rules and regulations which involve travelling. So off I went to the local fotoshop and believe me there were two families with among them about 10 kids having passport fotos made and one boy with glasses either made a stupid face, or the glasses had been reflecting or he had moved and there was a part of him missing on the shot. Standing there for about 10 min. tapping my foot I decided to leave, remembering another fotoshop which I then went looking for only to discover that it had vanished from the earth. So, back to the first shop and believe me, the same bespectacled kid still was trying to get his foto taken under the cheers of the remaining crowd. In the meantime my face must have turned purple, so the sales lady asked the 2 family crowd if she could look after me in between and they answered, yes, if it does not take too long!  That had been the second time I told myself: "Landfrau,keep your mouth shut!" So I had my ugly,grim foto taken and off I went to again battle with burocracy and I had been lucky to catch them before sacred lunch hour closing time.
Now I am awaiting my new passport in about 6 weeks and for the rest of my life I will  produce a document with an absolutely ugly me - have decided that there will not be another one.

Donnerstag, August 11, 2011

I am living with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

August 11/11 ...12:11 p.m.

Yes, and  they  have 4 legs.  By now you might know whom I am talking about, mad Max, our guest dog. As Dr. Jekyll he is very good and nice to have around the house (well, lets be generous and forget about food stolen from the table and a hole bitten into the linnen "horse" bread bag hanging at the radiator, and gobbling up the dried bread) but put him on a leash and leave the house with him, he turns into Mr. Hyde in a jiffy. First he loses his ears, as soon as he spots another dog about half a km away he is off like a thunderbolt, no yelling or whistling is of any use. He wont do any harm , but tell that the other dog and most of all the owner! Same thing happens with people with kids. He produces a kickstart before he realizes that it is a toddler,not a dog. Up to now with have been lucky with nice parents but I could not blame them if they would be upset.

looks like an angel
  Now, why don't I  keep him on the leash? There I have a problem , since my stupid accident in the fall last year my knee is not so stable any more and he is too fast pulling me  all over the places.

So we are always happy when we are back home without incidents and then Dr. Jekyll and me are friends again.

Mittwoch, August 03, 2011

GLASSES or - where the fuck are they?

August 3/11......2:51 p.m.

You need them or you don't. - No, friends, it is not as simple as that, at least not for this here Landfrau. Aside from the fact, that I keep losing them all over the house ( although I have my favoured spots where I put them - like on top of the guest towel stack in the guest bathroom, the staircase steps leading up to the attic room , behind the the window sill curtain in the upper floor )  certain tasks are done much better without glasses. Cleaning the house, for instance is so much more fun if  you do not have to hunt every crumb and tiny dustball. Also mowing the lawn is a good one, looks so much neater without glasses when I am finished. And believe me, that morning glance into the mirror shows an immaculate,wrinkleless Landfrau, it is a simple joy. -

stupid dog - even with glases he could not find his toy!

Although certain tasks I think I better leave them sitting on my nose, for one thing driving my car and also eating a trout. And for looking for mad Max's (labrador guest dog) lost toy, a bright blue plastic bone  about the size of a kitten I left them on and the bone nevertheless is a goner.