Living out Grimm's Fairytales

October 30/10.....5:07 p.m.

About 4 kms from our home we have that dependance of a farm, dealing in produce like apples, pumpkins, potatoes, marmelades - well, all that kind of goodies.  They also have a special brand of apples(Berlepsch) we both, Herr Husband and myself,  like very much. So I decided to take the bike (no more dog to walk, no more horse to ride) excercise, excercise! and, on the way to the place I got lost in the little forrest I had to cross. Felt like "Hänsel und Gretel" out of Grimm's Fairytales  but did not meet the witch, fortunately.  Anyway, when I arrived at the place, the very friendly sales girl told me, that they had closed up since an hour ago and that they were about to leave. When she saw my sad face she asked if I happened to have change, then she could provide me with the wanted apples, otherwise no deal, she had already balanced the cash. Shit, I only had bills.  Then smart Landfrau remembered,that there was a gasoline station nearby and asked the girl if she could hold it for a few minutes for me to get change. So I whirled to the station , changed money and rushed back and got my apples - lucky me!  On the way home I took another turn, not through the forrest, passing the gas station and decided to give them an apple as "thank you". So I told them that I am not the bad stepmother from "Schneewittchen und die 7 Zwerge" and the apple is not poisened but a "´thanks" for changing my money. They had a good laugh, those guys!
But cycling home I did not find a frog to kiss (Der Froschkönig), who then would have turned into a prince - what a shame.

Kickin' the Habit

October 26/10.....5:45 p.m.

Landfrau should stop...

looking for dog's bowl in the morning

grabbing the leash when going out

throwing food  treats on the floor while preparing meals

looking at the clock around five p.m. and getting dressed because it's walkie time

turning around while on the bike why Herr Hund is slowpokin' around

looking for dog treat before bedtime......etc, etc

and since we had houseguest "mad Max" (daughter's dog) over the weekend, it did not help getting back to the life of an old couple with two goldfish.

This is Good Bye

October 17/10

They called me Herr Hund very often, but actually my name is Shaylor and often my folks had to spell it out for a bit ignorant people. Friends, now I am in dog's heaven and the vet lady and my family were just terrific to help me get there, ate some honey cookies till to the end and went to sleep with my head in my "Frauchen's"  lap and when I woke up, imagine, there had been old Lander the horse and he is now very eager to show me around in my new grounds. Still miss my folks but there is so much here to see and discover, I am very busy sniffing around.! Don't think I am ungrateful, I still cherrish my memories from the time when I picked my family (up to today they think they choose me ) but I had been very cunning, when they inspected us, me and my siblings, I stayed in the background and only after my flock lost interest, I showed up and presented myself and of course my family regognized right away, what a smart dog I am. So I left with them in that big car and did I ever love to travel in cars till to the end, only then I could not manage to climb in any more, so for the last trip they had been taking I could not go along anymore and had to stay with mad Max, my friend and rival and I can tell you, being not so well off anymore, he could be a pain in the neck. Imagine, he ate my medication, the rascal!
Nevertheless, he is a good dog too and I wish him still a long and happy life and should he show up one day around here I for sure will show him around.

A dog's life in a way is short, but believe me, I enjoyed every minute of it, the seaside, the snow in the mountains and my beautiful home. But most of all I enjoyed my family and I am happy that I choose them.

Another Replacement

October 14/10 ....4:01 p.m.

It should have been the isle of Jersey in September, but the die had been cast and our trip had to be cancelled. So we decided on some quite different kind of journey.  Since we had not seen our young family for a while (they live in Hessen)  Landfrau had the bright idea to look for a comfy place in Hessen where we could meet and decided on Göbel's Schlosshotel   - good choice!

It is amazing, how ignorant we are about this region of Germany which is so full of history, not only the recent one of border region to the former DDR but history dating back much,much further. We learned that the region had been an important tradesroute connecting Leipzig/Sa and Frankfurt/Main among other things and that in Bad Hersfeld every year there is the oldest German country fair , celebrated since 852  - it has religious origin. The event took place while we had been there and the grounds are set up in the middle of town and we saw so many stoned people that they would have put the Munich Oktoberfest numbers of  boozed up crowds to shame.

Now back to our castle which is breathing history and offering the comforts of today.

We had a great time and the only regret has been that our little family could only join us for one night.  The weather played along too, it deserved its name of golden October.

Now we are back home with our memories!

A Replacement

October 6/10.....4:30 p.m.

The VIDEO  replacement for the one which did not work anymore!

And what's next?

September 25/10......4:15 p.m.

It used to be my horse and my dog, then it has been my dog and my bike now what is left  is  my bike, old Herr Hund told me he only likes slowpoke walks nowadays. Next step will be my rollator - life is shit, or?

 Well lets cherish the little things, a leaf , found

yesterday which is pure indian summer, blue sky reflecting in

puddles and a delicious prune cake I baked today.

Landfrau is trying to see the brighter side of life - most of the time

anyway.

The Monkey

September 22/10......7:56 p.m.

Gee, do we ever have a great September time right now,  temperatures,which one could wish for summer and also mild nights. Great for having a leisurely glass of wine outside , looking into our little garden and missing the "wilderness". Yes, friends, every other year we have to have our gardener trimm and cut our trees and hedges and one of his helpers, they call him the monkey, is very good at cutting everything into shape again. Nevertheless Landfrau has tears in her eyes every time. Like I said, I miss the wilderness. I know by now that everything will grow back, but for me right now it looks very neat and...naked. But nothing against the monkey, he has a feeling for cutting and trimming into shape and it will look very nice next summer. But this guy gives me the willies when he is up in the trees, in no way secured. Fortunately this year again we did not have to scrape him from the ground.
So now we have two more seasons to go - thank heavens!

Another Tale from the Past

September 18/10.......9:05 a.m.

Sometimes long forgotten incidents from the past pop up in my mind, funny or not so funny. Anyway, here is a funny one I want to share.
The time of our lifes, when we lived in Vancouver B.C. my job had been to distribute goods arriving per vessel from Far East for our customers all over Canada. One of them, the real name does not matter, called himself in his correspondence"Abraham, the chicken thief"  and addressed his enveloppes to "Freddie Mills and his bowlegged cuties" . Herr Husband favoured Freddie so much that he decided to take the name as his second first name - and it sticks to him still nowadays.
One time, I can not remmember why, the chicken  thief  got steaming mad at me (the man seemed to run quite a temper) and he sent me a message, saying: Mrs. S. , you are unadultary stupid. - I could have wrung his neck,but...he had been the customer, so I ground my teeth and kept my mouth shut.
I never met the guy face to face, still up to today I wish I had.

Herr Husband and McCafé

August 25/10.....8:56 p.m.

Monday our daughter - home from their family sailing trip at the dutch seaside, came for a short visit to show us her holiday pictures. Since Landfrau had been very busy housecleaning, she asked Herr Husband to drive and pick up some pastries . We like the take-outs from McCafé they are good, fresh and fast to get. Up to now, anyway. Daughter arrived and was eager to start her slide show, but no daddy had arrived yet with the goodies. It took him quite a while, but when he arrived, fortunately with cake, he told us a story, which had us rolling over with laughter.

The girl at the counter asked him for his order and it developped the following conversation:

Husband: 3 pieces of cheesecake and 3 slices of apple pie

girl: you want to eat them here?

Husband (somewhat annoyed) : do I look as if I would devour 6 pieces of cake?

girl: (silent for a moment) then: you want a paper bag?

Husband: what the heck do you think the pieces of cake would look like, if I carried them in a paper bag? Please put them into a box.

Girl left and after quite a while returned with a stack of boxes, unfolded, took one out and started to fold. When she had set up the bottom, she went, got a pair of green rubber gloves and put in the pieces of cake, the started to fold up the sides of the box and promply tore one side.

Husband: how do you suppose I should carry a broken box?

girl: balance from the bottom

Husband: (still keeping his temper) get some tape and fix it

Off she went and it took her quite a while, before she returned with some tape to fix the damage.

Fortunatey Herr Husband had the brilliant idea with the tape, because otherwise he would  still be there watching the girl folding and tearing boxes.

But the cake had been good!

Letter to our Guestdog

August 10/10....6:42 p.m.

Dear mad Max,

I know that it is not your fault! It is not your fault that , being a Labrador-Hovawart-Collie mix, the Labrador has taken the upper hand, in looks and in behavour. You are sweet and affectionate and you can not help it that you love the water. And I do NOT love a dirty smelly dog in the car and neither does Herr Hund, who growls and dislikes it more and more when you join him in the back of the car wet like a cat.  So we are now into the business of outsmarting each other, up to now you have won every time, I must shamefacedly admit.  First time it has been the river, lucky you,  second time I decided to take a walk on a path next to a fenced off meadow. You found a hole and the river.  Third time a big,  muddy puddle had been welcome and Herr Hund and Landfrau watched in amazement, how you lowered yourself into the mixture, like a camel lowering itself in the desert. But today I thought I had outwitted you, drove with the car to a path far away from the river, dry as death valley but you found a tiny muddy hole nevertheless and managed to put all 4 feet into it. Max , you are a genius and we have 7 more days to go and I am sure you will me show so much more muddy holes and water where I would have never have guessed that it excists. But aside from that I love you....Your  foster mother

Spoiled no more

August 5/ 10.....9:35 a.m.

Am I insane, or what? Did I mention in my previous post that an eternal holiday would be boring? hey, I wanna be spoiled and I wanna be lazy! And that is a fact!

SEASIDE

August 2nd/10.......8:56 a.m.

One thing is for sure, Landfrau has been very much more of an early bird during our week of vacation at the seaside. We have been the usual crew, Herr Husband, grandson, daughter (delivering and picking up grandson) Herr Hund and myself.  We frequent this place in the Netherlands for several years and how time changes you notice, when you think about the "add-ons" which had to be carried along, like games, beach ball rackets and all that stuff to keep a kid busy. Now suddenly the kid is a teenie and the most important gadget is his laptop. And take Herr Hund - he loved to run next to the bike and we made extensive tours - nowadays all he is interested in is to trail my heels , to sniff around and to "tell" other dogs "look, I am harmless". But nevertheless - on account of him I have to get up early enough to walk him before breakfast and I am telling you - nothing beats a brilliant morning at the beach. A few other dog owners, a few horsebackriders  and aside from that you have the feeling you own that wide open space where the surf beats the sand.

So, it has been a nice time once again, but I also like it to be back home - I miss being spoiled but an eternal holiday would be boring too in a while, I suppose.

An Almost Perfect Party

July 20/10......10:45 p.m.

When our girls had been small and they had their birthday parties, somehow the birthday child, being so wound up maybe, found a reason to cry. Never one of the guest kids, always the birthday child who started bawling,  grown - ups are different, they do not cry any more, even if they have reason too. Herr Husband really had been in party mood for his special birthday, first the "small" celebration on his real birthday and then the big party on saturday, where he had to produce one of his  famous stunts. Due to his polyneuropathic feet he stumbled on strange terrain - daughter's house, where we had the party  - and  fell flat on his face, bit his lip, which of course started bleeding like hell and knocked a tooth loose. He did not have to be hospitalized, insofar we are one ahead of our very good friends from Luxembourg, where after the party at the hotel in the morning the host told all guests matter of factly that his wife had been taken to the hospital due to a heart attack during the night.  She survived and had been one of our guests at our party,which shows you that even at ripe old age you can fight the mishaps. - But enough of catastrophies. -  Our big party really had been a sucess, due to the help in setting up and organizing of our offspring. They not only supplied the facilities but had been very busy beforehand in different ways, preparing a presentation and organizing the tent, food and drinks. The speech, our son-in-law delivered in honour of the jubilee had been one of the finest and the prepared presentation of daughter No. 1 and son-in-law a gem. In short, everyone pitched in and we made the birthday child very happy. Also the weather played along, after the infernal heat we even had a somewhat chilly night where you could dig out a sweater. We had a Dixieland band, which had been a surprise for the jubilee and a collective present from quite a few of our guests and a french cook -  gift from daughter no.1 - who prepared the food on the spot. The tent, drinks and decorations had been organized by daughter no. 2 and family and Landfrau did her little share. -

It is great to have positive feedback from the guest after a party, which had involved so much organizing and work beforehand.

But we think that it had been worth it, well, we could have forgone the above mentioned stunt!

Herr Hund contemplating....

July 03/10.....8:25 a.m.

I am telling you, my people must be nuts. Almost every day they sit in front of that box they call "teevee "  and normally in that box there are people and sometimes even dogs and cats...oh, I love that! But nowadays all they are staring at are lots of little men running around with only one ball they fight about - they call that FUSSBALL - soccer for my english speaking friends - And there is that terrible noise coming out of the box, they say it is made by what sounds like "uwe seelers"(vuvuzela).  I try to tell them that I can not stand that terrible noise, my little ,flopping ears are sensitive - but no, they tell me to go and play someplace else.  I hope for sure, that the whole shenanigan will be over soon and my people go back to watching dogs and cats. I do not mind if they watch people, but without "uwe seelers" please.

Mad Max, Wine Tasting and Festivities

June 18/10.....10:07 p.m.

We have some festvities coming up, the "Konfirmation" (google it s.v.p. , I am too lazy to explain) and a special birthday - not mine, thank heavens-  so some planning is looming ahead.  Daughter No. 2 (the most involved one) and me, also involved,  decided to start off with the wine tasting. So I offered to supply the bread and cheese for the stricly and family size event, unfortunately son-in-law could not be present - what a shame - but we had fun and I think we made a choice of the right wines, one red ,one white. But when I arrived with my "supplies"  bread and cheese ,mad Max(and faithful readers konw whom  I am talking about, the not soo well educated Lab-mix of our daughter) who is used that I bring him a goodie, but sometimes I forget, snatched the whole baguette out of the paper bag in my basket and had been in the starting hole to run away with it, we saved the baguette just in time. Which shows you, never get into the routine of things and then break the routine. So it has been...mea culpa!  We ate the baguette, nevertheless.

PUBLIC VIEWING

June 12/10....9:33 p.m.

Tonite we had the spontanious idea to have dinner outside. We went to one of our favoured spots, a riverboat, moored at the riverside quite near to downtown, Herr Husband is accepted by the young owner as "big daddy"  since he has been one of his first customers. Because the soccer world championships  are going on, Germany as a whole is in soccer fever. Tonite it is GB against USA and up to now the score is 1:1. So, we have been lucky, the place not too crowded, they have a big tv screen, very convinient, you watch and eat.  Tomorrow Germany is playing, fat chance to get a place without reservation, and it is then young crowds anyway. But the two oldies got an armband tontite from the restaurant owner and it says "I've got a little CAPTAIN  in me" in black- red - gold. Tomorrow grandson (13) will kiss our feet.
And, by the way, the inscription suits me!

Spider Woman

June 1/10.........6:23 p.m.

So mean Herr Husband wanted to give Landfrau a fright. While leaving the house,he discovered a big spider  right in front of our entrance door. He called me to have a look and I decided to take it away, did not necessarily want to have it in the house. Till then Herr Husband still had been laughing, but then I got a fly squatter, not to kill the little monster, mind you, just to take it away , and I flipped it, only Herr Husband had been in the way and the spider was gone and he started jumping around claiming that it must be on him now.  We kept looking, no spider, but when he started to shake himself like a dog, suddenly Mr. spider fell to the ground, and where has it been running to? - right!  -  smack to the entrance door. I caught it in time and this time I made sure to carry it far enough away to safety.

Now I am spider woman - I feel great!

I hate DROPINNERS

May 24/10 ....11:34 a.m.

Do not get me wrong, Landfrau loves visitors but I simply, totally hate dropinners. - There I am, still in my bathrobe, my hair hasn't seen a comb yet and my eyes no makeup (makes me feel I look like an albino, and who wants to look like an albino,I guess not even an albino) and the doorbell rings, and there they are, the dropinners. Oh, sorry, you are not dressed yet? Oh, no, we do not want to come in (tranferring, we have been on our bikes for about 20 kms and at least you could offer us a drink of water) and you mumble that you have been up for hours, just did not have the time inbetween feeding the dog, preparing breakfast, setting up the outside areas with sunumbrellas,tablecloths,cushions etc to look yet after yourself, but please...do com in, - Oh, no, we do not want to bother you - no, you do not bother me (FATHEADS, you do!) and then they sit there and sit there, sure, they are dressed and have all the time in the world. - Or, it is my housecleaning day and I look like right out of the slums, with my old sorted out t-shirt and slacks, all the furniture is upside down, the carpets are turned over and you fall over the vacuum cleaner and the doorbell rings and there...see above.

So, friends, in our times there are phones, there are cell phones -use them! You are always welcome in my home but give me notice before you DROP IN on me and a chance to say "no" if it is really not convenient from my side. - This way we always will be friends!

The Windmaker

May 19/10.....3:16 p.m.

Usually there are rainmakers, me , I am special, I am a windmaker. You can have a day, not a breeze around, as soon as I decide to clean our driveway, there...it starts. And not only a little bit of wind, no - real whirlwinds, which take my heaps of dried leaves, and we have plenty, I only say - ivy ! - apart before I can bend down to sweep them up. So, if you are in need, like you own a windmill or so,call me, I come with my broom ,shovel and basket and the wind will start out of nowhere. - Besides the driveway slavery I had hoped it would rain, because then I could have skipped mowing the lawn. Tough luck, blue sky, sunshine and that nasty wind of course, which does not bother me mowing. So there I was, in the chaingang and besides from cleaning Herrn Hund's puked up basket, fixing lunch, walking the dog all what now is left to do is changing the bedclothes. Well, as we say in Germany: wer rastet, rostet (he who rests, rusts) - Landfrau is a rustfree species, or maybe I am like rust, always active.

Gnome in the House

Mai 15/10

I have that gnome in the house, who keeps himself busy during the night to tighten my garments and lately he must have had his cotton pickin' fingers busied with my favorite jeans. Somehow they are not so comfortable around the waistline anymore. So I decided for a trip downtown, only I forgot, that Thursday, having been a holiday, the whole of Nordrhein Westfalen, not travelling, decided to go shopping/windowshopping in the city. Finding a parking lot - even in a parking garage - was like winning in a lottery. Same in the department store, finding an empty booth. Well, I had been lucky with both and for about 2 hours "enjoyed "myself wriggling into and out of clothes. And the gnome must have been busy in the department store too, tightening all the clothes of my size, so I had to get the size above. Really thrilling! Landfrau now keeps her fingers crossed that one day she does not have to limit herself to stores called BIG & THIRSTY. Then I will murder the gnome.