SENIOR MOMENTS

May 6/2012....1:00 p.m.

....We have them and we live with them, one of the unpleasanteries of getting older. But sometimes they are downright funny - like this one:
We had been visiting with our young family in Hungen the previous weekend and as it happened, there had been this may festivity in Kindergarten.  Of course our little one, 4 years old, had been very excited and from the time we arrived talked about us coming along to see her performing the "fire dance".  We wanted first to check into our little country inn,a few miles from their home where we usually stay ,and unpack our bags, and..tough luck...arrived at the kindergarten too late. The fire dance had been over and our little actress had missed her stage show. Sobbing and throwing a temperfit (understandable) grandpa tried to comfort her, telling her that there would be another performance an hour later, which then we would watch etc. etc. 
 Only the kid had not been bawling, instead looking at him with big round eyes and me standing next to the scene had a terrible laughing fit, trying in vain to stop him from talking down the wrong kid. And you should have seen the face of the kid's father, he must have been thinking his kid ran into a "good uncle" and was about to grab grandpa by the neck. Only seeing my laughing efforts to try to stop grandpa made him realize what happened and he joined me laughing and grandpa finally caught on and let go of the wrong kid,claiming that wearing the same cap they all looked alike.

And,by the way, we watched our little star perform the "fire dance" and her little world had been set straight again.

SO SAD

March 21/12.....17:01 p.m.

We had sad news today. Our friends inVancouver told us, that a mutual friend, Jack Gemmel , had died.  He has no family left,so there will be just a memorial get- together in the Yachtclub where we all had been members and sailing buddies. We can not take part,so I thought I give Jack this post. He had been a great guy and fate did not mean well with him. He went blind years ago, so he could not be a captain anymore, sailing big ships across the oceans.
R.I.P. Jack and keep sailing on, wherever you are!

Plitsch-Platsch - I'm taking a Bath....

March 14/12....3:50 p.m.

No, no, not me, I prefer a shower!  So does Herr Husband, but once a while he thinks he should take a bath , not in the tub, mind you, he chooses our little pond. Fortunately the fish are goners since the heron gobbled them up a year ago, otherwise now they would have died of a heart attack when this big whale dived in. No kidding, I thought that would have been impossible for a grown up, but he almost managed to drown himself.  He, who never lifts a finger, suddenly decided to fill up the pond. Result: he stumbled and fell head over heels into the puddle,taking along an abundance of rocks decorating the edge. And since he hardly is able to get out of a chair by himself, he was lost and me being upstairs in the house only heard his cries for help after a while. Fortunately I had been around or he still would be lying about. He had been lucky that he touched ground with his arm, otherwise he might have managed to get his head under water.  I do not know if pleading not guilty would have helped me during an investigation. O.K.after I stopped laughing we tried to get him into an upright position which had been a hell of an effort. 

The victim lost some fingernails and had some bruises and a stiff neck, the helper had a tummy ache from laughing.

and next winter I will put up a sign: NO WALKING ON ICE!

Give it a Try

March 3/12....5:00 p.m
I know, I know, have been absent too long, somehow I seem to suffer from a kind of writer's block or I am spending,or should I say wasting, all my wisdom on facebook and twitter. Not that I have to say much there either, but talking with a feedback somehow makes it easier.
No funny family stories either and Herr Husband lost his ability to act as my object of fun. o.k. to be honest, the incidents which make me laugh I can not write about, they belong into the privacy corner.   And Herr Hund, who always had been good fo a fun tale, is wagging his tail on that big meadow behind the rainbow. It has been over a year now that he left us, but I still miss the rascal, to be honest not the walks in the cold and the rain. Took the bike today to give it a go against the wind, not excactly a fun ride, but at least my bad concience will keep it's mouth shut at tonite's pizza battle. Gave Herr H. the choice between veggie or pizza dinner...pizza it is. 

Somehow it is amazing how I can go on babbling about nothing, an art in itself - three cheers for Landfrau! So now I will top off my "having nothing to say" with some beautiful flowers, still sitting on our dining room table and evaporating a hint of spring.

Yesterday....

February 11/12........6:45 p.m.

....all my troubles seemed so far away....when I come to the ferry landing,somehow that song always, or mostly, crosses my mind and I remember the times when I had passed that place almost every day with my faithfull companions, dog Shaylor (called Herr Hund) and horse Lander,  who by now are waiting for me on that big meadow behind the rainbow. There still is a twist to my inner self when memory catches up with me, but then I try to be realistic,nice times have been nice times and there is a time and a place for everything. Everything right now is not such a piece of pie and this darn cold weather we are having does not help. I think we are into a new ice age like we have had in the middle ages and it is said that bursting vulcanos might have something to do with it. And we had that big fellow Eyjafjallajökull acting up two years ago  in spring. Whatever, we can not do anything about it, or at least not much. - I am looking forward to warmer weather, where I can take out my bike again, miss that too, big walks are  not so in favour with me anymore since I have that damaged knee from my bike accident in November 2010. - Oh man,it seems, I am turning into a whine winnie, what a drag.
 Should talk a litte bit about Daetti again, remember,my iPad, which has turned itself into almost a person somehow, but I sneakily try to get the upper had and its about 50:50 by now. Only writing posts I have not ventured into, well, I tried, but it has been a poor effort.

there is ice on the edge of the river



fancy hotel at the ferry landing



..and this has been summertime and has been....

So, friends, you see, I am still around, have a look once a while, I might have been here!

Hooked for good

January 26/12....11:28 p.m.


There I am,first post in the new year and it is only 11 months till X-mas. Have to find a guilty one for my absence, it has a name, Daettleff,  by now I call it Daetti, since we are inseperable  but it is not love, it is like Daetti is stalking me. He won't let me alone.  Daetti is my iPad which I got for X-mas. I told my family that I never wanted one, I knew what would happen, now I am addicted  and my family has to live with it. 
Up to now, Daetti still has the upper hand, hope that this will change and I will be the master.

History of a pre-X-mas Time

December 21/11....10:40 a.m.


July 21st/11...my birthday, thinking about X-mas, 5 more months to go - cheerful  memories!


November 30/11....starting to dig around for X-mas decorations, basement up to the attic, good excercise, especially if the gadgets you think are downstairs  are upstairs and vice versa.




December 2/11.... still looking for missing santa clauses for outdoor decoration, darn!


December 3/11...setting up outdoor "adventskranz" (wreath) one of the causes for walking on crutches around that time last year - bad memories!


December 6/11....given up looking for missing clauses, they can fry in hell! - baking first batch of X-mas cookies - hate it!


December 8/11...getting too often into jar of cookies to try if they are still good. they are, but dwindling away. Start to fatten myself up.


December 9/11 ...had to drive Herr H. to the eye doctor in shitville Krefeld, windy day, bought a cap while running around and getting lost as always. Husband pissed off because he had to wait for me, says my cap looks stupid. 


December 10/11....X-mas wishes from the family members so far...money,money,money. My goodness, do we have a big family!


December 12/11...bought another X-mas cake (Dresdner Stollen) by special order from Herr Husband.  


December 13/11....Herr Husband decides he does not like X-mas cake any more.  Want to stuff it down his throat!


December 14/11...drove downtown to look for some small presents, came home with no presents, but another cap. Getting on a roll for caps - nutty!


December 15/11...baked some more cookies to stuff myself.


December 16/11.....found missing santas - now they can rott in their box!


December 20/11 ....went for food shopping and developped a hate towards X-mas songs and X-mas decorations.While stowing stuff into the car watched a departing Lufthansa plane in the sky, whised I was on it, never mind where to.


December 21/11...eyeing my decorated X-mas tree and wishing it was July, so I could be looking forward to CHRISTMAS!


Anyway....HAVE A HAPPY ONE - EVERYONE!

Pick one!

December 6/11......7:40 p.m.

....and preferably made of chocolate!
We exchange them within the family, the whites,the cafe au laits and the dark chocolates. As it turns out, we might as well keep the own ones since they always turn out "look -a-likes", makes no difference. This year WHITE  is in!
Also baked first cookies, what a drag, >I simply hate baking cookies. This way I suffer for my sins.

A Day in the Life of a Member of the Housewife Mafia

November 8/11....6:30 p.m.

our egg suppliers

Usually I suffer from the senile bedflight syndrome but not - like this morning - when I have an appointment, then I sleep in and blame my alarm clock, which claims"not guilty" because it hasn't been set.  So it had been a bit of a rush and a foggy drive on top to my massage appointment. Mind you,  it is a beautiful sight in our low Rhine region when the sun tries to battle the fog and finally manages to peek through, will take my camera and take some shots on one of my senile bedflight days- maybe!  My massage today had been somewhat funny, the lady soaked me in oil , made me feel like a snake and I had the feeling my clothes were kind of sticking to my oily body when I dressed.  This had been the last treatment from my birthday coupon which Herr H. had been gifting me with, from now on I will look for a different place, maybe after X-mas. 
 From the massage I drove to my favoured nursery, I needed some arrangement to take along to our weekend invitation. Well, then I could have thrown a temper fit, they had gone haywire with merry X-mas galore, so I had to assemble my own arrangement - not such an easy task, when even the plants yell jingle bells. 
Rushed home and since the Halloween decoration at our front door still grined at me I snatched up one pumpkin and threw together a delicious pumkin soup,  a fresh pear with icecream and hot chocolate sauce for dessert, very yummy.
Decided then that on such a sunnyday I should take the hui-bui (that's what I call our electro bike) for some smalltime shopping, discovered 2 adorable  ceramic icebears (for decorating) and broke one along with  - amazingly - only one egg from a dozen, when I knocked over my bike coming home in our driveway.  
From then on I had been quite busy doing the icebear puzzle and my consideration if I should safe the icebears as a gift, X-mas time coming up - had been solved by fate. 
And tonite I might switch on my sauna, but have not decided yet, maybe I am too oily today. 

Do I want to be home again?

October 15/11.......5:53 p.m.

It is, as always, a win-win thing. I love to be someplace else, but also I love to be back home.  What I do not love is the amount of work shouting for me.  But hanging around being spoiled is not such a thrilling life either, after a while - anyways, not for me.  Our Luxembourg hangout, the Hotel Leweck, had been fun and mostly relaxation, massages, swimming, good food and wine . No walks,this time, and that's where I missed very much my faithful companion, Herr Hund . Lots of fun we had at dinnertime. Since we had not been visiting the place for quite a while,there had been a change of waiters in the restaurant. The headwaiter, whom we call Obama among ourselves, that very goodlooking black guy, still had been there, also another one, whom we call Sarkozy, a friendly guy who always gave you a wink and a smile. But the new crowd, we really had a giggle about every nite. One guy we baptized the food whisperer, he always kept talking to the food he was carrying around  but the top of the pops had been the one we called the shuffler, he scuffed around with his mouth open carrying the food till it had been cold and then he returned with his plates to the kitchen. We alway made bets if the plates would make it to the proper guests. And talking about guests, we had a real laugh. Got to be talking to a couple we had been meeting at another of our visits and I said to the lady that I thought  the food was delicious but always too much and she misunderstood and very anoyed asked me if I thought she was eating too much. Well, I could have told her, that now, as she mentions it, she does, but as a polite person I clarified the misunderstanding, not without laughing pretty hard.  So you see, we had been not bored whatsoever. -
Now the win-win back home gifted us with mad Max for the weekend, the family is busy hockeywise in Munich, where the German championships  - boy group (14 years) -take place, and the team, where grandson is the captain, is in the finals. We followed up the game in the internet  live ticker and this way learned, that the captain had been carried away on a strecher, not after he had been good for 2 goals.   Hopefully he will be allright tomorrow , it had been cramps in the leg, which can be very painfull. I can sing a song about that - happens to me sometimes during the night, then I take a run through the house. And now I have to take a run with mad Max, otherwise he might be running out.

New Bag - new Trip

October 8/11....8.50 a.m.

Yes , a new trolley asks for a trip, even if the weather does not play along. But who wants to be immodest? Not me!  As I always say, you can not have everything. Herr Husband gifted me with that very nice  BRIC'S   bag and I should make use of it, agreed? Tomorrow we will leave for our     Luxembourg hideout,    and never mind the weather, the place is just gorgeous even without sunshine. The only drop of bitterness - first time we will be going there without Herr Hund, somehow it had been "his place" too, Landfrau and him loved our walks in the isolated woods where I will not venture this time without my guardian. But I will take swims in that lovely pool, where you can swim from the inside into the outside pool, have myself treated to some massages , visit the turkish and sauna baths and enjoy that wonderful food and the drinks and talks in the bar in front of the fireplace. Gracious living!
So now I have the hard decision to make what not to pack - fortunately the bag is not THAT big.
And today is my father's birthday, happy birthday dad, wherever you are! Will always remember,when you burned a hole into my new lounge chair with your cigar on your birthday!  Today I think it was funny.

SEASIDE & TRAINRIDE

September 19/11......5:49 p.m.

Have been really looking forward to a little vaccation and change of scenery,  although had slight doubts about the trainride. Our tour in the beginning of our trip had been quite o.k., aside from the fact that they did not run a dining car and without breakfast till 2 p.m. it is a long way to go from getting up at 4:30 a.m. Never mind, we survived! Our trip back home did not go so smoothly, train, again without dining car, left at 2 p.m. and  dallied its way from the east to the west . Our first class car had been an old,beat up darling from 1962 and the grease spot at the glass separation from someone's head probably had been leftover from that time. Herr Husband went on an inspection tour, and told me coming back that the 2nd class coach was brandnew with more space,nice upholstery and - most of all  - much cleaner.  And 3 stations before we had to leave, drunken soccer fans boarded the train and you were lucky not to get puked on.   The final touch had been, that after we had - with the help of the handicap service - left the train , the elevator for taking down Herr Husband in his wheelchair was out of order and they took him down the flight of  steps in a device which I can not describe and which scared hell out of me. -
But aside from that we had a great little holiday and everything was up to our expectations, we had a beautiful room with a huge sundeck, equipped with rattan furniture and easy chairs with a roundabout view upon the sea, the beach and the forrest. A beautiful wellness area, great indoor pool, in short, all the facilities to train off the marvellous food, which I did like a hamster in a wheel, at least for the first days. Then I am aways greedy for everything!  For one day we rented a car to have a look at the surrounding area for a bit and we both agreed that our hide-away was the best choice ever.

appetit for more? go to the attached link

Now I am the hamster in the wheel back home and I hope our bags arrive in good shape wednesday, they come by courrier service, we could not drag them along on the train, too heavy and too many pieces - one bag alone is the famous luggie, with which Herr Husband had been the talk of the place.

Link:

Graves and Noodles

September 4/11....9:11p.m.

A year ago my brother died - sad,sad ,sad. So today, equipped with a bunch of flowers (he loved flowers) I ventured out to visit his grave.  I had been under the stupid presumption that I would find the grave in no time. So,  after puffing uphill where I thought I would find the grave, no grave. Circling back was not of much help. And no people around, only the dead ones, which would not answer me. Well, new start from the beginning, and always uphill, darn! Pretty soon I had the feeling I could dig my own grave.  After inspecting graves for about an hour and already thinking about a donation of my flowers to some poor looking grave  - I found him! - Patted his stone and could imagine him sneering at me.  He had been a good one at that during his lifetime. -
Coming home I had been really bushed, also our stupid weather might have had something to do with it. Flopped onto my bed to read some and kept doozing off, having the weirdest dreams.  Did not really feel like cooking, talked Herr Husband into taking us out to our favoured Italian for dinner, I simply had to have noodles (noodles make you happy!) and were they ever good but too much, now I am sitting here, considering to puke. And that's the end of my gloomy sunday and my brother is probably laughing his head off.  

This last Day of Summer

September 3/11....8:30 p.m.

bye bye summer, hello fall!

That has been it, I can feel it in my bones, this has been the last day of real summer this year. Fall is lurking around the corner!  So here I am, killed a bottle of Pouilly fume - not during cooking dinner, mind you, otherwise I might have ended up like the adorable cook from "My drunk kitchen"! No, no.no, me I want to enjoy my dinner and on days like this I strive for perfection. A meal for a hot day, wraps, filled with mixex peppers, green salad, corn, brown beans and of course  spicy meatcuts and sour cream. And that NICE bottle of Pouilly fume - actually everything goes with it, once you get into it, you might as well serve shit alongside, nobody would notice, it's simply sooo good! Ugh, I am getting off the subject - fall - which is climbing up on us in big steps, believe me. The migrating geese, passing our rooftop tell me so and they have never been wrong.  So , first step into fall clean up - I covered the big sunumbrella shading our little garden in summer. Since we had no real summer this year, the bugger had been real lazy.  Good for it, so it lasts maybe next season. Lucky us, we have a front garden with more sun and thats where we will hang around for the remaining days of this simply shitty summer. - So long! -

My Passport Story

August 23/11.....3:26 p.m.

Today the ghost of just deceased Loriot ,the great comedian, must have hovered over the first half of my day. You would say, that achieving a new passport is not such a big deal, well... let me tell you this -
I left the house pretty early , dealing with ministerial hierarchy you have to count on strict office hours and I wanted to have some leeway, just in case. Smart choice!  Took my old passport, a foto, which I had left over from the time I had to renew my ID card and enough money. Well equipped, one would think. The office for this kind of burocracy had moved since I had been there the last time and the somehow evasive directions given by Herr Husband took me on a little sightseeing trip with not a soul on the road to ask.  O.K.  I made it and the first question, the lady behind the desk asked me was  if I really wanted a passport, because, as she explained, moving around Europe an ID card is sufficient. Probably she did not trust me to be able to venture out of Europe. I had been a good girl and kept my mouth shut.  Next, I handed  her my foto and she almost fainted with shock "oh no, it has to be a biometric one" which means that you are not allowed to smile but produce a grim look, which one has travelling nowadays anyway, with all the rules and regulations which involve travelling. So off I went to the local fotoshop and believe me there were two families with among them about 10 kids having passport fotos made and one boy with glasses either made a stupid face, or the glasses had been reflecting or he had moved and there was a part of him missing on the shot. Standing there for about 10 min. tapping my foot I decided to leave, remembering another fotoshop which I then went looking for only to discover that it had vanished from the earth. So, back to the first shop and believe me, the same bespectacled kid still was trying to get his foto taken under the cheers of the remaining crowd. In the meantime my face must have turned purple, so the sales lady asked the 2 family crowd if she could look after me in between and they answered, yes, if it does not take too long!  That had been the second time I told myself: "Landfrau,keep your mouth shut!" So I had my ugly,grim foto taken and off I went to again battle with burocracy and I had been lucky to catch them before sacred lunch hour closing time.
Now I am awaiting my new passport in about 6 weeks and for the rest of my life I will  produce a document with an absolutely ugly me - have decided that there will not be another one.

I am living with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

August 11/11 ...12:11 p.m.


Yes, and  they  have 4 legs.  By now you might know whom I am talking about, mad Max, our guest dog. As Dr. Jekyll he is very good and nice to have around the house (well, lets be generous and forget about food stolen from the table and a hole bitten into the linnen "horse" bread bag hanging at the radiator, and gobbling up the dried bread) but put him on a leash and leave the house with him, he turns into Mr. Hyde in a jiffy. First he loses his ears, as soon as he spots another dog about half a km away he is off like a thunderbolt, no yelling or whistling is of any use. He wont do any harm , but tell that the other dog and most of all the owner! Same thing happens with people with kids. He produces a kickstart before he realizes that it is a toddler,not a dog. Up to now with have been lucky with nice parents but I could not blame them if they would be upset.


looks like an angel

  Now, why don't I  keep him on the leash? There I have a problem , since my stupid accident in the fall last year my knee is not so stable any more and he is too fast pulling me  all over the places.


So we are always happy when we are back home without incidents and then Dr. Jekyll and me are friends again.

GLASSES or - where the fuck are they?

August 3/11......2:51 p.m.

You need them or you don't. - No, friends, it is not as simple as that, at least not for this here Landfrau. Aside from the fact, that I keep losing them all over the house ( although I have my favoured spots where I put them - like on top of the guest towel stack in the guest bathroom, the staircase steps leading up to the attic room , behind the the window sill curtain in the upper floor )  certain tasks are done much better without glasses. Cleaning the house, for instance is so much more fun if  you do not have to hunt every crumb and tiny dustball. Also mowing the lawn is a good one, looks so much neater without glasses when I am finished. And believe me, that morning glance into the mirror shows an immaculate,wrinkleless Landfrau, it is a simple joy. -



stupid dog - even with glases he could not find his toy!



Although certain tasks I think I better leave them sitting on my nose, for one thing driving my car and also eating a trout. And for looking for mad Max's (labrador guest dog) lost toy, a bright blue plastic bone  about the size of a kitten I left them on and the bone nevertheless is a goner.

Rollator Kamikaze

July 4/11......6:02 p.m.

With the help of Landfrau Herr Husband managed a slapstickripe plunge sitting on his rollator. It happened as follows: Herr H. wanted to take a walk with his rollator around the block, Landfrau decided to come along. That was a mistake. Herr H. after a while said he needed a rest and sat on the rollator seat, Landfrau told him I will push you, Herr H. said, no, looks silly, Landfrau said yes, never mind. So I pushed him along the sidewalk, but suddenly the thing, and don't ask me how and why, stopped and started to turnover forward. I tried to hold onto it and sitting husband, fat chance, down he went and me ontop of him. There we were, lying on the sidewalk, Herr H. had lost his cap and glasses and kept yelling at me " are you insane, are you insane" , poor me, lying there, trying to figure out how to get off and up. In the meantime some passers-by had assembled and everyone tried to help. A lady and me managed to pick up Herr H.  who did not want to sit on the rollator anymore being pushed. Fortunately he had only hurt his butt a little and I put the cap back on his head and had a laughing fit, claiming that we never had been holding that position, me on top of husband,  in open public.
Actually I am husband's official attendant and helper, but this act did not gain me any laurels. But I think I might improve.

Cussedness of the Inanimate

June 30/11.......12:22 p.m.

It simply is always the same, when I still used to smoke and we had been in a restaurant waiting for our maincourse to be served all I had to do light a cigarette, and bingo, the meal was coming up. Watering the garden flowers for sure draws rain within the next hours and buying essentials for barbecue during a heatwave brings on below zero temperatures. Not that I am so keen on barbecue. It might have something to do with Herr Husband who never does a stich around the household and hardly is able to boil an egg suddenly considers himself a gourmet cook, who is the grillmaster galore. Burnt sausages and halfraw or overcooked steaks are not exactly something to look forward to.  So now my steaks will be pancooked and it is the turn of  Herr Husband to complain that they are overcooked or tough. Must admit that cooking steaks is not quite my piece of pie either.

IMPLANTS

June 20/11.....3:15 p.m.

The day I had been dreading had come and this morning at 8:30 p.m. I showed up at my dentist's place to be fixed with two implants. Since he had not been quite sure about the leftover bonestructure, he had to cut the gums open on top to have a look before the drilling. I had been frightened stiff - so to say  and a fast trip to the bathroom had been an absolute must. I got a couple of anesthesia shots and when my mouth felt numb enough he got to work, cutting and drilling . I did not feel a thing, surprisingly, but the noise in my head had been that of a black & decker machine. The whole procedure took less time than anticipated and now I am home cooling with a cool pack and very proud of myself that I did not have to take painkillers yet, but I had 1 antibiotica pill, thats a must. -
so, friends keep your fingers crossed that my mouth will heal fast without complications -I am greedy after a coffee, but that I can only  have tomorrow - shame!